I wasn't planning to do one of these again so soon, but looking through the list of search terms used en route to Public Health Doula just offered too many opportunities to resist. How have people been finding my blog this month? Let's see:
"public health boring"
Well, sometimes. Sorry, stroke prevention...I just can't get excited about you, as important as you are, but I'm sure the stroke prevention people find my work boring too, so I'm happy we've all found our bliss.
"documentary how do you know when a molly is about to give birth"
Is a "molly" some kind of animal? Or this just specifically for women named Molly? And there's a whole documentary about them?
"i want to breastfeed buy nicu has my baby on bottle what should i do"
This makes me sad because I see it so often. Short answer: Demand a visit with a lactation consultant, and if the hospital doesn't have any find an outside IBCLC who can help you. Join a La Leche League group for support, and stay committed - time and patience can do a lot in this situation.
"baby friendly initiative bullshit"
I'm assuming this was a search done by a bitter postpartum floor nurse. I think I might know a few of them. Sorry you're not a fan of evidence-based practices!
"how should you supplement a hypoglycemic baby"
Depends on the hypoglycemia and the baby, but in many situations the first choice should always be breastfeeding/the mother's own milk!
"hate directed pushing"
Me too!!!
"barbie doula"
Oh my god, I can't wait for Doula Barbie! Let's figure out an outfit for her. I'm thinking her accessories should definitely include a birth ball, a rice sock, and a tiny copy of "The Labor Progress Handbook".
I like to think you're imagining me obsessively googling "documentary how do you know when a molly is about to give birth," just sort of over and over, even though I'm not pregnant. It's colorful.
ReplyDelete"documentary how do you know when a molly is about to give birth" . . . sorry, that may have been Chris :)
ReplyDeleteoh wow Doula Barbie would be AWESOME!
ReplyDelete@Molly: Yep, that's exactly what I was imagining. "If only there was a documentary!" you mutter. "I could figure it out!"
ReplyDelete@Mollie: Ha, and now I imagine Chris frantically typing it into google on your way to the hospital.
@Emily: I know! But they'd have to make her legs bendable...you can't be a doula without being a little more mobile than Barbie!
ReplyDeleteI have sworn off ever, ever purchasing a Barbie doll...but if there were a doula Barbie? I might have to revise my Barbie ban.
ReplyDeleteI mean, can you just imagine Barbie doing a double-hip squeeze? Would she have a rebozo? Come with a birth ball? THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS.
I think there is a giant market at birth conferences for Doula Barbie. Definitely with Labor Progress Handbook, a Rebozo, a birth ball under one arm, and don't forget the tiny rice-filled sock!
ReplyDeleteIn case anybody really doesn't know, Mollies are a lovely breed of fish that give live birth. And then eat their babies.
ReplyDeleteOoh, the rebozo! I am now getting more and more tempted to do a doula Barbie prototype. Hmm, I would need a tiny sock, little piece of cloth for the rebozo...where would I get a tiny birth ball??
ReplyDelete@Arual: I really didn't know! They don't sound very baby-friendly ;-)
Oh my goodness, these are hilarious!!
ReplyDelete