I am on the road! Excited to be traveling to a favorite city to help with and attend the wedding of a great friend. I have several posts in the "What every doula should know about breastfeeding" series in progress, but I don't know how much work I'll get done on them in the next week. So in the meantime, a few links!
A planned, empowered, and enjoyable CBAC story (by a mother who had already had one c-section and a VBAC). "I will never forget these moments. Ever. They were beyond perfect. At last a very beautiful, calm and positive birth experience. I felt fully supported, I felt my son and I were in good hands. My husband and I were respected, and the birth truly was a celebration."
A step-by-step guide for applying for a Fulbright. I am so proud of my sister who has a Fulbright next year to study sustainable agriculture in west Africa! Have you ever thought about wanting to research issues related to reproductive health or other related issues in another country? A Fulbright can fund you for a year, on huge range of research topics!
I've been getting into some different bra blogs lately! They are written by women who have "unusual" sizes (in quotes because it's not unusual for women to BE these sizes, it's just unusual for them to KNOW they are these sizes). This is a great post on how many women are fitted poorly into bras and how the many different shapes and sizes that we come in are not respected:"The War on Plus Four": "...for some women, the fact that they might need a 30 or even 28 band and a significantly larger cup might seem like an alien concept as we generally have it drummed into us that a 32 is the smallest band available, and anything below this should be considered a ‘specialist’ size. Or an ‘awkward’/'odd’ size (I’ve heard it described as such and everything in-between). Even the idea that going down a band size (or even multiple sizes) makes people shudder. "
That's all for now!
Showing posts with label bras. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bras. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Monday, June 29, 2009
How to find a bra that fits [Part 3, for nursing]
On to our third and last installment! Please ask questions if there's something I'm not making clear, or you're still wondering about. Or give your own experiences with shopping for/wearing bras!
Bras for nursing
Changes in cup size: Most women can wear their end-of-pregnancy bras for the first few days. When the mature milk comes in, engorgement can make your cup size can go way, way up for a day or two, then goes down a bit, then stabilizes and begins its months- (or years-)long descent down the other side of the hill.
A lot of women try to buy a couple of bras at the end of pregnancy to use for nursing. One suggestion I've heard a lot of is "get a bra that you can fit your fist into". Maybe that works for some people, but you've already heard my thinking about buying sizes you're assuming you'll grow into - what if you never get that big? My suggestion is to buy one or two comfort/sleep bras (discussed below) that fit you a little generously and have room to stretch. Let out the straps for extra space. Where are you going, anyway? Aren't you enjoying a babymoon, sitting around in bed with people bringing you breakfast on trays?? (Okay, or at least sticking to home while you get to know your newborn.)
Once your size has stabilized, start investing in bras that are fit properly to your actual size - not to some guess in week 38.
Changes in band size: Your band size - even if it was uncomfortable during the last part of pregnancy - should be back to its mid-pregnancy size and, again depending on your body and weight loss, will also go back down as the months pass. It's really easy to not notice that the band of your faithful standby nursing bra has gotten waaaay too big (it's easy even with regular bras) so keep fastening the hooks tighter and watch to see if the back is creeping up.
How fast the changes happen: Again, dependent on the individual but apart from the initial engorgement, generally slow and steady. Your breast size in particular may stay the same for a long time at first if you're nursing exclusively. Remember - during that time, if you're getting smaller band sizes you want to go UP a cup size. For example: a 38D=36DD=34DDD/F.
What bras to buy
Wire?
The great debate of our time: underwire vs. non-underwire. Everyone has different opinions on whether underwires cause plugged ducts. You can find people who swear up and down that they don't, and others that they do.
Here's my take: I met a woman one time who could get a plugged duct from a seat belt across her chest on a long car ride. And I've met women who never once had a plugged duct, even wearing too-small underwire bras. So I think you should play it by ear. If you hate underwires or you think you're plugged-duct-inclined, avoid the wires. If you can wear them with no problem, more power to you. (However, I will put in a pitch for the unbelievable comfort of non-underwired bras, even for those who are not nursing. Soooo nice.)
Bra rec: Anita brand bras are good for non-underwire support. The 5051 is not pretty, but super comfortable and goes up to an I cup.
Sleeping/comfort bra?
Do you need a sleeping bra? If your breasts are tender and/or very full, then one might be nice, but it's not at all necessary. On the other hand, it is nice to have a stretchy, comfy, wear-around-the-house bra, and these are great for the first week of nursing when your size may be fluctuating greatly. If you're buying one bra to get you through the first week of nursing, a comfort bra is a good choice because it can more easily accommodate changes in cup size and will just be nice for sitting around the house, resting and nursing. And if you need something to sleep in, you've got it.
Bra rec: Virtually everyone I've talked to has loved the Bravado original bra. Some people like it so much they just wear it all the time. And if you want you can buy it in leopard print!
Also Bravado, and recently given a rave review on Blacktating, there is a deep and strong passion for the Silk Seamless. The catch: they don't really work above a D (or max, DD) cup. These can actually work well as regular day, wear-under-clothes bras or as comfort bras (although one more warning: they are not super low cut).
Regular day bras
As with your bras for pregnancy, try not to buy too much at any one size - maybe 1-3 bras at a time. And don't buy more than one of a particular style bra at a time (unless you already know it works.) If you love it in the store, wear it for a few days and make sure it's wearing well and still feels good. Then buy more of the same. You don't want to try to return milky bras that are no longer comfortable!
You should be able to find pretty bras you like, but keep in mind that the nursing bra spectrum is limited, especially when you get up to larger cup sizes. Do I think there should be more beautiful 32Is? Yes. Does ugly mean you shouldn't wear the right size? Well...no. In the grand scheme of things, you won't be nursing so long. You have the rest of your life to wear lacy little dainties.
Bra rec:
For smaller cup sizes (A-D): YOU can wear lacy little dainties. Elle MacPherson tends to make the prettier, sexier nursing bras, like the Mere (if you don't mind lace). If you mind lace or anything itchy, people also rave about the Bravado Silk Seamless.
For larger cup sizes (D+): Not quite as dainty, but still lacy and pretty: another Elle MacPherson, the Maternelle. It's high cut, but the lace makes it look like a camisole under lower-cut clothing, and it goes up to an F (her E is really an F. I know, confusing.) Also see the Anita bras (mentioned above) for cup sizes through an I.
Tips:
-When trying on bras, think about how much you change size between feedings. If you change a lot, try on bras when you're relatively full so you can make sure the bra will fit comfortably even right before a feeding.
-It's easy to get distracted and not really notice that your bras aren't fitting right anymore. Don't forget to make sure that you're comfortable and happy - the right size bra will make a difference.
To sum up: If you want to get a "starter bra", get a stretchy sleep/comfort bra to wear through your milk coming in. Wait until the engorgement has settled down to get more bras, then get a couple at a time. Decide if underwire works for you on an individual basis. Don't sacrifice comfort for looks, and make sure you have the right size and that you're paying attention to fit as your size changes.
I hope this little series has been informative! Again, if there's something I've forgotten to talk about, let me know. (And tell me if you go out and get a bra fitting...did you find out your real size?)
I'll just leave you with a pitch for GOOD nursing bras. A lot of new moms don't take care of themselves, putting themselves and their needs after their families'. But you also have to take care of yourself. Maybe you wear crap bras the rest of the time, but during nursing when your breasts are doing so much work - when they are, in fact, feeding your baby - isn't that a good time to treat your body and yourself extra nicely? Especially at a time when your breasts especially need the support, being full of milk and all? And your shoulders and back and neck could really use the help, being also busy carrying around a baby?
I fit so many women who just heaved a sigh of relief, looked in the mirror, said "I can't believe I waited this long!", and asked me to throw their old bra in the trash and cut the tags off their new one so they could wear it out. Don't wait! Don't settle for crap bras during nursing - get the right fit and get good ones!
Bras for nursing
Changes in cup size: Most women can wear their end-of-pregnancy bras for the first few days. When the mature milk comes in, engorgement can make your cup size can go way, way up for a day or two, then goes down a bit, then stabilizes and begins its months- (or years-)long descent down the other side of the hill.
A lot of women try to buy a couple of bras at the end of pregnancy to use for nursing. One suggestion I've heard a lot of is "get a bra that you can fit your fist into". Maybe that works for some people, but you've already heard my thinking about buying sizes you're assuming you'll grow into - what if you never get that big? My suggestion is to buy one or two comfort/sleep bras (discussed below) that fit you a little generously and have room to stretch. Let out the straps for extra space. Where are you going, anyway? Aren't you enjoying a babymoon, sitting around in bed with people bringing you breakfast on trays?? (Okay, or at least sticking to home while you get to know your newborn.)
Once your size has stabilized, start investing in bras that are fit properly to your actual size - not to some guess in week 38.
Changes in band size: Your band size - even if it was uncomfortable during the last part of pregnancy - should be back to its mid-pregnancy size and, again depending on your body and weight loss, will also go back down as the months pass. It's really easy to not notice that the band of your faithful standby nursing bra has gotten waaaay too big (it's easy even with regular bras) so keep fastening the hooks tighter and watch to see if the back is creeping up.
How fast the changes happen: Again, dependent on the individual but apart from the initial engorgement, generally slow and steady. Your breast size in particular may stay the same for a long time at first if you're nursing exclusively. Remember - during that time, if you're getting smaller band sizes you want to go UP a cup size. For example: a 38D=36DD=34DDD/F.
What bras to buy
Wire?
The great debate of our time: underwire vs. non-underwire. Everyone has different opinions on whether underwires cause plugged ducts. You can find people who swear up and down that they don't, and others that they do.
Here's my take: I met a woman one time who could get a plugged duct from a seat belt across her chest on a long car ride. And I've met women who never once had a plugged duct, even wearing too-small underwire bras. So I think you should play it by ear. If you hate underwires or you think you're plugged-duct-inclined, avoid the wires. If you can wear them with no problem, more power to you. (However, I will put in a pitch for the unbelievable comfort of non-underwired bras, even for those who are not nursing. Soooo nice.)
Bra rec: Anita brand bras are good for non-underwire support. The 5051 is not pretty, but super comfortable and goes up to an I cup.
Sleeping/comfort bra?
Do you need a sleeping bra? If your breasts are tender and/or very full, then one might be nice, but it's not at all necessary. On the other hand, it is nice to have a stretchy, comfy, wear-around-the-house bra, and these are great for the first week of nursing when your size may be fluctuating greatly. If you're buying one bra to get you through the first week of nursing, a comfort bra is a good choice because it can more easily accommodate changes in cup size and will just be nice for sitting around the house, resting and nursing. And if you need something to sleep in, you've got it.
Bra rec: Virtually everyone I've talked to has loved the Bravado original bra. Some people like it so much they just wear it all the time. And if you want you can buy it in leopard print!
Also Bravado, and recently given a rave review on Blacktating, there is a deep and strong passion for the Silk Seamless. The catch: they don't really work above a D (or max, DD) cup. These can actually work well as regular day, wear-under-clothes bras or as comfort bras (although one more warning: they are not super low cut).
Regular day bras
As with your bras for pregnancy, try not to buy too much at any one size - maybe 1-3 bras at a time. And don't buy more than one of a particular style bra at a time (unless you already know it works.) If you love it in the store, wear it for a few days and make sure it's wearing well and still feels good. Then buy more of the same. You don't want to try to return milky bras that are no longer comfortable!
You should be able to find pretty bras you like, but keep in mind that the nursing bra spectrum is limited, especially when you get up to larger cup sizes. Do I think there should be more beautiful 32Is? Yes. Does ugly mean you shouldn't wear the right size? Well...no. In the grand scheme of things, you won't be nursing so long. You have the rest of your life to wear lacy little dainties.
Bra rec:
For smaller cup sizes (A-D): YOU can wear lacy little dainties. Elle MacPherson tends to make the prettier, sexier nursing bras, like the Mere (if you don't mind lace). If you mind lace or anything itchy, people also rave about the Bravado Silk Seamless.
For larger cup sizes (D+): Not quite as dainty, but still lacy and pretty: another Elle MacPherson, the Maternelle. It's high cut, but the lace makes it look like a camisole under lower-cut clothing, and it goes up to an F (her E is really an F. I know, confusing.) Also see the Anita bras (mentioned above) for cup sizes through an I.
Tips:
-When trying on bras, think about how much you change size between feedings. If you change a lot, try on bras when you're relatively full so you can make sure the bra will fit comfortably even right before a feeding.
-It's easy to get distracted and not really notice that your bras aren't fitting right anymore. Don't forget to make sure that you're comfortable and happy - the right size bra will make a difference.
To sum up: If you want to get a "starter bra", get a stretchy sleep/comfort bra to wear through your milk coming in. Wait until the engorgement has settled down to get more bras, then get a couple at a time. Decide if underwire works for you on an individual basis. Don't sacrifice comfort for looks, and make sure you have the right size and that you're paying attention to fit as your size changes.
I hope this little series has been informative! Again, if there's something I've forgotten to talk about, let me know. (And tell me if you go out and get a bra fitting...did you find out your real size?)
I'll just leave you with a pitch for GOOD nursing bras. A lot of new moms don't take care of themselves, putting themselves and their needs after their families'. But you also have to take care of yourself. Maybe you wear crap bras the rest of the time, but during nursing when your breasts are doing so much work - when they are, in fact, feeding your baby - isn't that a good time to treat your body and yourself extra nicely? Especially at a time when your breasts especially need the support, being full of milk and all? And your shoulders and back and neck could really use the help, being also busy carrying around a baby?
I fit so many women who just heaved a sigh of relief, looked in the mirror, said "I can't believe I waited this long!", and asked me to throw their old bra in the trash and cut the tags off their new one so they could wear it out. Don't wait! Don't settle for crap bras during nursing - get the right fit and get good ones!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
How to find a bra that fits [Part 2, for pregnancy]
When we left off, we had just learned how to find a bra that fits you - the importance of band size, the changing nature of cup size, the glory of a bra that actually supports you. I also just ran across this post about cup size, with photographic illustration. It really helps show you how cup sizing works, and why your letter doesn't say anything about what your breasts look like!
On to bras for pregnancy... (I meant to do a combined post but I write too much, so I'm splitting pregnancy and nursing into separate posts.)
What happens to your breasts and bra size during pregnancy
Imagine the changes in your breasts/cup size during pregnancy and nursing as climbing a hill: they get larger throughout pregnancy until they hit the top of the hill the day your milk comes in. That's the biggest you're going to get. Once your milk supply stabilizes they, too, either stabilize or get somewhat smaller throughout nursing - descending the other side of the hill. After your child has weaned they finally return to where you started, at the bottom of the hill and at (or close to) your original size.
"OK, that is NOTHING like what happened to my breasts/bra size when I was pregnant/nursing." Every woman's body is different! The above is a general guideline and sadly, like with length of labor, if I could predict bra/cup size ahead of time I would be a rich woman.
But the hill visual is helpful, especially if you think that every woman's hill follows the same general structure but may be tall (lots of change) or short (less change), steep or gentle (quick or slow change).
Because bra size changes frequently during pregnancy and nursing, there are a few special things you want to keep in mind while choosing bras during this time.
What bras to buy, or my screed against "maternity bras"
Let me say right up front: there is no such thing as a maternity bra. They don't exist. They are just regular bras hanging under a sign that says "maternity". Yes, they are bigger than "regular" bras. They are trading on this idea that a DD is freakishly large and only worn by pregnant women and Dolly Parton. But you already know this is not true. Don't spend money on maternity bras (unless you happen to find one you like in your correct size). Instead you have two options:
Buy regular bras in new sizes:
Advantages: They should be relatively easy to find, you can try to buy cheaper ones you don't love assuming you'll change again soon and will toss them.
Disadvantages: you will have to toss them once you grow out of them, because you will probably never wear them again. By the time you're done nursing you won't be those sizes anymore.
Buy nursing bras in new sizes:
Advantages: You can wear them again - when you're going back down the other side of the hill, while you're nursing, so the investment of buying good, comfortable ones will be worth it. You can also explore your nursing bra options before you're busy with a new baby, and hopefully you'll have a couple that fit right away or soon after your milk comes in.
Disadvantages: They may be harder to find and will probably be more expensive. If for some reason you skip a size on the way back down the hill, you may not get your money's worth out of them.
You can choose to do either one, or a mix of the two. Getting nursing bras seemed to work for a lot of pregnant women at my old store - the way I see it, if you buy a regular bra you're guaranteed to be buying a bra you can never wear again. Buying a nursing bra you at least have a shot at wearing it again. But ultimately, the most important thing is to feel comfortable.
My final zinger toward the maternity bra industry: maybe there are some good bra fitters at maternity clothing stores, but I've never heard of one. Where I used to work, women would come in having been fit by maternity store people who clearly just handed them a 36DD, then a 38DD, and so on until they found something plausible. Since you know maternity bras don't exist, there's no reason to shop for bras at maternity stores unless you can't find your size elsewhere. Better to get fit someplace good.
How to fit bras in pregnancy
You measure for size exactly the same way during pregnancy and nursing as at any other time. The real difference is what you do with that information - instead of using it to buy a bra at your exact current size, you're using to it try to get something that will work for you as your size changes. How do you do that?
Cup size: Most women find they gain several cup sizes during pregnancy. The "average" is 1-2. Of course, I've fit women who have not changed at all, and others who went from a DD to a K. Changes may happen slow and steady, or in "growth spurts".
Since you can't predict how much you'll grow (or when), don't buy way-too-big cups assuming you'll grow to fit. Instead, if you're on the edge of one cup size, buy the next one up. If you keep growing and your cup threaten to spilleth over, loosen the shoulder straps - that will give you some extra room, and buy you some extra time.
Remember to not get fixated on the cup size letters. Maybe you're used to being a B. Add two sizes to that, and now you're a D. Maybe you're used to being a D, or a DD. Now you're an F or a G. It can be hard to wrap your mind around letters that don't seem to match your idea of your body. Some people just reject the letter (and the right bra) out of hand. But remember, those letters don't say anything about your body! Ignore them and find a bra that really fits!
Band size: In my experience, most women gain maybe one, maybe two band sizes in pregnancy. It depends on how you carry, your weight gain, and how sensitive you are right up by your rib cage. However, it is NOT generally a huge gain.
"But I gained at least 3 band sizes during pregnancy!" Maybe you did! But most women think they are growing a lot in band size when in fact it's the cup size that does more of the changing. Because most people don't understand cup size, they keep putting on bigger bands to get bigger cups. They also assume that their bras are tight in the band because they're getting so big around, when in fact it's their cup size causing the strain. (But since you know how sizing works you'll know how to fit it properly.)
That said - you probably will need/feel more comfortable going up at least one band size during your pregnancy. When shopping, buy bras that fit comfortably on the tightest hook when you try them on in the store, so you can expand the band size as needed.
Especially towards the end of your pregnancy, a band that had fit OK or was a little tight might start feeling very uncomfortable. Your rib cage area generally goes down as soon as you give birth so buying a bigger band size just for the last 3-4 weeks might be a real waste if you're doing the nursing bra thing. Instead, you can get a bra extender (at bra shops or at a fabric store like Jo-Ann's). It hooks into your band and gives you another inch or two. Voila! Automatic temporary band expansion.
So to sum up: in pregnancy, buy bras sparingly at each size. Consider buying nursing bras, and don't waste extra money on "maternity" bras. Remember that your cup size is probably going up more than your band size, and fit accordingly. Buy bras that fit comfortably on the tightest hook, and use a bra extender if you're sure you just need more space in the band. If choosing between cup sizes, choose the bigger one, but don't buy too big - loosen the shoulder straps if you need more room.
Next up: nursing bras!
On to bras for pregnancy... (I meant to do a combined post but I write too much, so I'm splitting pregnancy and nursing into separate posts.)
What happens to your breasts and bra size during pregnancy
Imagine the changes in your breasts/cup size during pregnancy and nursing as climbing a hill: they get larger throughout pregnancy until they hit the top of the hill the day your milk comes in. That's the biggest you're going to get. Once your milk supply stabilizes they, too, either stabilize or get somewhat smaller throughout nursing - descending the other side of the hill. After your child has weaned they finally return to where you started, at the bottom of the hill and at (or close to) your original size.
"OK, that is NOTHING like what happened to my breasts/bra size when I was pregnant/nursing." Every woman's body is different! The above is a general guideline and sadly, like with length of labor, if I could predict bra/cup size ahead of time I would be a rich woman.
But the hill visual is helpful, especially if you think that every woman's hill follows the same general structure but may be tall (lots of change) or short (less change), steep or gentle (quick or slow change).
Because bra size changes frequently during pregnancy and nursing, there are a few special things you want to keep in mind while choosing bras during this time.
What bras to buy, or my screed against "maternity bras"
Let me say right up front: there is no such thing as a maternity bra. They don't exist. They are just regular bras hanging under a sign that says "maternity". Yes, they are bigger than "regular" bras. They are trading on this idea that a DD is freakishly large and only worn by pregnant women and Dolly Parton. But you already know this is not true. Don't spend money on maternity bras (unless you happen to find one you like in your correct size). Instead you have two options:
Buy regular bras in new sizes:
Advantages: They should be relatively easy to find, you can try to buy cheaper ones you don't love assuming you'll change again soon and will toss them.
Disadvantages: you will have to toss them once you grow out of them, because you will probably never wear them again. By the time you're done nursing you won't be those sizes anymore.
Buy nursing bras in new sizes:
Advantages: You can wear them again - when you're going back down the other side of the hill, while you're nursing, so the investment of buying good, comfortable ones will be worth it. You can also explore your nursing bra options before you're busy with a new baby, and hopefully you'll have a couple that fit right away or soon after your milk comes in.
Disadvantages: They may be harder to find and will probably be more expensive. If for some reason you skip a size on the way back down the hill, you may not get your money's worth out of them.
You can choose to do either one, or a mix of the two. Getting nursing bras seemed to work for a lot of pregnant women at my old store - the way I see it, if you buy a regular bra you're guaranteed to be buying a bra you can never wear again. Buying a nursing bra you at least have a shot at wearing it again. But ultimately, the most important thing is to feel comfortable.
My final zinger toward the maternity bra industry: maybe there are some good bra fitters at maternity clothing stores, but I've never heard of one. Where I used to work, women would come in having been fit by maternity store people who clearly just handed them a 36DD, then a 38DD, and so on until they found something plausible. Since you know maternity bras don't exist, there's no reason to shop for bras at maternity stores unless you can't find your size elsewhere. Better to get fit someplace good.
How to fit bras in pregnancy
You measure for size exactly the same way during pregnancy and nursing as at any other time. The real difference is what you do with that information - instead of using it to buy a bra at your exact current size, you're using to it try to get something that will work for you as your size changes. How do you do that?
Cup size: Most women find they gain several cup sizes during pregnancy. The "average" is 1-2. Of course, I've fit women who have not changed at all, and others who went from a DD to a K. Changes may happen slow and steady, or in "growth spurts".
Since you can't predict how much you'll grow (or when), don't buy way-too-big cups assuming you'll grow to fit. Instead, if you're on the edge of one cup size, buy the next one up. If you keep growing and your cup threaten to spilleth over, loosen the shoulder straps - that will give you some extra room, and buy you some extra time.
Remember to not get fixated on the cup size letters. Maybe you're used to being a B. Add two sizes to that, and now you're a D. Maybe you're used to being a D, or a DD. Now you're an F or a G. It can be hard to wrap your mind around letters that don't seem to match your idea of your body. Some people just reject the letter (and the right bra) out of hand. But remember, those letters don't say anything about your body! Ignore them and find a bra that really fits!
Band size: In my experience, most women gain maybe one, maybe two band sizes in pregnancy. It depends on how you carry, your weight gain, and how sensitive you are right up by your rib cage. However, it is NOT generally a huge gain.
"But I gained at least 3 band sizes during pregnancy!" Maybe you did! But most women think they are growing a lot in band size when in fact it's the cup size that does more of the changing. Because most people don't understand cup size, they keep putting on bigger bands to get bigger cups. They also assume that their bras are tight in the band because they're getting so big around, when in fact it's their cup size causing the strain. (But since you know how sizing works you'll know how to fit it properly.)
That said - you probably will need/feel more comfortable going up at least one band size during your pregnancy. When shopping, buy bras that fit comfortably on the tightest hook when you try them on in the store, so you can expand the band size as needed.
Especially towards the end of your pregnancy, a band that had fit OK or was a little tight might start feeling very uncomfortable. Your rib cage area generally goes down as soon as you give birth so buying a bigger band size just for the last 3-4 weeks might be a real waste if you're doing the nursing bra thing. Instead, you can get a bra extender (at bra shops or at a fabric store like Jo-Ann's). It hooks into your band and gives you another inch or two. Voila! Automatic temporary band expansion.
So to sum up: in pregnancy, buy bras sparingly at each size. Consider buying nursing bras, and don't waste extra money on "maternity" bras. Remember that your cup size is probably going up more than your band size, and fit accordingly. Buy bras that fit comfortably on the tightest hook, and use a bra extender if you're sure you just need more space in the band. If choosing between cup sizes, choose the bigger one, but don't buy too big - loosen the shoulder straps if you need more room.
Next up: nursing bras!
Friday, June 19, 2009
How to find a bra that fits [Part 1, not for pregnancy or nursing]
I used to work as a bra fitter. Not just any bras - nursing bras. That's right - just in case being a doula, going through a breastfeeding educator course, and then doing dozens of breastfeeding consults during my AmeriCorps stint hadn't provided me with more than my lifetime quota of boob-viewing. Still, it was a good set-up for doula work because they were flexible if I, or the other doula working there, needed to call in "birth". (You would think we'd have also gotten clients from there but it wasn't as great a networking spot as you'd think.)
Anyway, I had never really understood how bra sizing worked before I got hired there. I had, when I was about 14, tried on bras in a JC Penney's dressing room until I found a size that seemed to work, and stuck with that size for well over the next decade. Sometimes I'd try slightly different sizes, because Oprah said that 80% of women were wearing the wrong bra size, but the ones I picked seemed too small or too big. I got measured at a Victoria's Secret one time and tried on their recommended size - that was a joke. I stuck to my old size.
A month into working at the store, I realized how I had been wearing a laughably wrong bra size for years. After a few more months, I realized how EVERYbody (or at least 80% - just like Oprah said!) else had been too.
One day during that time, I saw a picture of Dolly Parton and it got me wondering - what was her bra size? I had fit people resembling her, so I thought I had a pretty good guess. Googling around, however, I got mostly the same figure - one that I just could not believe. If a woman who looked like her walked into the store I used to work in and said she was a 40DD, every fitter in the room would turn around and raise their eyebrows.
But yet this "40DD" was repeated over and over on different websites with absolutely no questions asked. And it got me thinking about the fact that most of the world doesn't understand how bra size works - heck, I didn't until I started working as a fitter. I feel like bra sizing is this secret that's not hard to understand, but somehow concealed from women worldwide (possibly so we won't demand any sizes outside of 32-34-36 A-B-C). So I want to do a little explanation, because understanding this has changed my bras (and my life - really) for the better. I wrote a version of this a while ago for my my personal blog and had a lot of friends ask me questions and go for fittings. After this post, I'll do another one specifically on what I've learned about buying bras for pregnancy and nursing.
Your band size
The first part of your bra size - the number, aka the "band size" - has nothing to do with your breast size. Nothing. It has to do with your ribcage size. Wrap a measuring tape around your body just under your armpits, and pull tight (actually, have someone else do this for you). That's the number you're looking for. It's likely to be smaller than what you're wearing now.
"But I'm a 36! I've worn a 36 my whole life! It fits!" Take a look in the mirror. Do your bras ride up in the back? The back should be exactly level with the front of the bra. If they're riding up, they are TOO BIG. Period. "But I put on a 34 and it felt soooo tight!" Of course it will. You've been wearing 36s for your whole life. Wear the right size for 3 days and after 3 days it will no longer feel tight. Then put on your old bras and see how uncomfortable they really are - how they don't lie flat against your ribs, how they ride up underneath your breasts, how the straps are always falling down. (Right? You thought it was because you didn't tighten the straps enough. But since I started wearing the right band size, I can count on one hand the number of times my straps have fallen.) They don't give you any support underneath, so all the weight is hanging from your shoulders. They're Bad. You'll throw them out (just like I did) and be happier for it.
"But my band size is less than 32. So I'm a 32, right?" While a store like Wal-Mart will carry up to about a 44 band size, and a lot of plus-size stores will carry larger band sizes, finding very small band sizes is harder. That does not, however, mean that you should wear the wrong size. 30s and 28s are out there - mostly online, in specialty stores, and at Nordstroms. "But that will be expensive!" It is hard when you're used to buying $15 bras and discover that they weren't really doing you any favors and you have to shell out some more. But think about this: unless you have a smaller cup size and don't need it all the time, you probably wear your bra all day, every day. (Cost it out over total hours worn and you may see things differently.) It is what makes your clothes look good, makes you feel comfortable, and can help relieve back and neck pain. Treat your bras nicely and they will last longer, but regardless of lifespan they are worth the investment!
How important is the exact right band size?
If you're an A or B cup, do you really need to wear a nice tight band? Probably not, because you don't need as much support. If you're "supposed to be" a 32 but you like 34s better - not such a big deal. If you DO need the support, however, you want a tight, supportive band. It's a nice secure shelf under your breasts.
Can we talk about cup size now, please?
OK, we've got the band size taken care of. Now for the cup size. The cup size is the letter. It is the difference between your band size (around your ribcage) and your bust size (around the fullest part of your breasts). A few things about cup size: it is not absolute. Because it's about the DIFFERENCE between sizes, someone who is a 32C will have smaller breasts than a 40C. Cup size is all about proportion. This is why if you have a small band size, you are more likely to have a big cup size: the breasts that are a C on your sister who has a 38 ribcage will be a DD on your 34 ribcage.
"I'm a DD, that's so huge!" No, it's not. It's just a different proportion. When you start being realistic about your band size, you will inevitably go up in cup size (I have never met anyone who was wearing a band that was too small - most people are wearing a band that is too big).
I don't hold with measuring for cup size except as a general guide. Use it to get you in the right zone, but one measurement shouldn't be taken as gospel. Once you have a band size that you know works, just keep trying on larger cup sizes until you get one that fits you smoothly (no wrinkles) and doesn't create a double-boob on top by cutting into you. Ignore the letters - no really, ignore them! They will only distract you with preconceived notions of what that particular letter looks like on someone's body.
"But I CAN'T be a DD!" Why not? "Because that's so HUGE! I mean, Dolly Parton is a DD!" No, she's not. She obviously doesn't want to freak people out, but looking at her I would guess she's a 34H, minimum (and she's so tiny - she has to be a 32 or less). If she's making up for it by wearing 40DD, no wonder she has back problems.
"I've never heard of an H!" In German sizing (we carried a lot of bras from Germany in the store where I worked) they don't screw around with all these double letters. Americans seem to have a mental block about the letter "D" - we can't go beyond it. People will be DDDD's, but they won't just go ahead and be a G, whereas in Germany they just march inexorably down the alphabet. (In England they seem to split the difference by doubling every letter once - D, DD, E, EE and so on - but at least only once.) No one seems to want to hear these letters. Because so many women are wearing the wrong size, we have attached letters like "DD" to Dolly Parton and can't see ourselves realistically.
"But if I'm more than a DD then where do I find my bras?" See above re: small band sizes. They will be harder to find, and more expensive, and yet you will be glad. My recommended bra-shopping websites: Figleaves.com, Barenecessities.com, and Bravissimo.com (the last is UK-only store although they will ship to the US. I have never ordered from them, but I hear great reviews and they have a good explanation of how to visually assess whether your bra is the right fit.)
One more thing - bra fitters
With all this explanation about how to fit yourself, I can't emphasize enough how helpful a good, experienced fitter can be. And that's why you can't go to Victoria's Secret. A bra store can only put you in sizes they have. Vicky's doesn't have much. Nordstrom's has a much wider range, and in this country is a lot of people's only nearby bricks-and-mortar resource. Local specialty stores are also a good bet if you have one - but check to see if they have the size range you think you're looking in. Always bring your own judgment - it's normal for a smaller band to feel tight, but it shouldn't require a crowbar to fasten, and if something is just not working then say so.
Once you have bras that fit, spread the gospel! I've talked to a lot of women who feel so frustrated and demoralized by bra shopping. It makes them feel bad about their bodies and insecure about what they "should" look like or what size "normal" people wear. I wish more women understood sizing and accepted their bodies and breasts as they are - normal and fabulous - and useful for feeding babies if you get the chance :-)
Anyway, I had never really understood how bra sizing worked before I got hired there. I had, when I was about 14, tried on bras in a JC Penney's dressing room until I found a size that seemed to work, and stuck with that size for well over the next decade. Sometimes I'd try slightly different sizes, because Oprah said that 80% of women were wearing the wrong bra size, but the ones I picked seemed too small or too big. I got measured at a Victoria's Secret one time and tried on their recommended size - that was a joke. I stuck to my old size.
A month into working at the store, I realized how I had been wearing a laughably wrong bra size for years. After a few more months, I realized how EVERYbody (or at least 80% - just like Oprah said!) else had been too.
One day during that time, I saw a picture of Dolly Parton and it got me wondering - what was her bra size? I had fit people resembling her, so I thought I had a pretty good guess. Googling around, however, I got mostly the same figure - one that I just could not believe. If a woman who looked like her walked into the store I used to work in and said she was a 40DD, every fitter in the room would turn around and raise their eyebrows.
But yet this "40DD" was repeated over and over on different websites with absolutely no questions asked. And it got me thinking about the fact that most of the world doesn't understand how bra size works - heck, I didn't until I started working as a fitter. I feel like bra sizing is this secret that's not hard to understand, but somehow concealed from women worldwide (possibly so we won't demand any sizes outside of 32-34-36 A-B-C). So I want to do a little explanation, because understanding this has changed my bras (and my life - really) for the better. I wrote a version of this a while ago for my my personal blog and had a lot of friends ask me questions and go for fittings. After this post, I'll do another one specifically on what I've learned about buying bras for pregnancy and nursing.
Your band size
The first part of your bra size - the number, aka the "band size" - has nothing to do with your breast size. Nothing. It has to do with your ribcage size. Wrap a measuring tape around your body just under your armpits, and pull tight (actually, have someone else do this for you). That's the number you're looking for. It's likely to be smaller than what you're wearing now.
"But I'm a 36! I've worn a 36 my whole life! It fits!" Take a look in the mirror. Do your bras ride up in the back? The back should be exactly level with the front of the bra. If they're riding up, they are TOO BIG. Period. "But I put on a 34 and it felt soooo tight!" Of course it will. You've been wearing 36s for your whole life. Wear the right size for 3 days and after 3 days it will no longer feel tight. Then put on your old bras and see how uncomfortable they really are - how they don't lie flat against your ribs, how they ride up underneath your breasts, how the straps are always falling down. (Right? You thought it was because you didn't tighten the straps enough. But since I started wearing the right band size, I can count on one hand the number of times my straps have fallen.) They don't give you any support underneath, so all the weight is hanging from your shoulders. They're Bad. You'll throw them out (just like I did) and be happier for it.
"But my band size is less than 32. So I'm a 32, right?" While a store like Wal-Mart will carry up to about a 44 band size, and a lot of plus-size stores will carry larger band sizes, finding very small band sizes is harder. That does not, however, mean that you should wear the wrong size. 30s and 28s are out there - mostly online, in specialty stores, and at Nordstroms. "But that will be expensive!" It is hard when you're used to buying $15 bras and discover that they weren't really doing you any favors and you have to shell out some more. But think about this: unless you have a smaller cup size and don't need it all the time, you probably wear your bra all day, every day. (Cost it out over total hours worn and you may see things differently.) It is what makes your clothes look good, makes you feel comfortable, and can help relieve back and neck pain. Treat your bras nicely and they will last longer, but regardless of lifespan they are worth the investment!
How important is the exact right band size?
If you're an A or B cup, do you really need to wear a nice tight band? Probably not, because you don't need as much support. If you're "supposed to be" a 32 but you like 34s better - not such a big deal. If you DO need the support, however, you want a tight, supportive band. It's a nice secure shelf under your breasts.
Can we talk about cup size now, please?
OK, we've got the band size taken care of. Now for the cup size. The cup size is the letter. It is the difference between your band size (around your ribcage) and your bust size (around the fullest part of your breasts). A few things about cup size: it is not absolute. Because it's about the DIFFERENCE between sizes, someone who is a 32C will have smaller breasts than a 40C. Cup size is all about proportion. This is why if you have a small band size, you are more likely to have a big cup size: the breasts that are a C on your sister who has a 38 ribcage will be a DD on your 34 ribcage.
"I'm a DD, that's so huge!" No, it's not. It's just a different proportion. When you start being realistic about your band size, you will inevitably go up in cup size (I have never met anyone who was wearing a band that was too small - most people are wearing a band that is too big).
I don't hold with measuring for cup size except as a general guide. Use it to get you in the right zone, but one measurement shouldn't be taken as gospel. Once you have a band size that you know works, just keep trying on larger cup sizes until you get one that fits you smoothly (no wrinkles) and doesn't create a double-boob on top by cutting into you. Ignore the letters - no really, ignore them! They will only distract you with preconceived notions of what that particular letter looks like on someone's body.
"But I CAN'T be a DD!" Why not? "Because that's so HUGE! I mean, Dolly Parton is a DD!" No, she's not. She obviously doesn't want to freak people out, but looking at her I would guess she's a 34H, minimum (and she's so tiny - she has to be a 32 or less). If she's making up for it by wearing 40DD, no wonder she has back problems.
"I've never heard of an H!" In German sizing (we carried a lot of bras from Germany in the store where I worked) they don't screw around with all these double letters. Americans seem to have a mental block about the letter "D" - we can't go beyond it. People will be DDDD's, but they won't just go ahead and be a G, whereas in Germany they just march inexorably down the alphabet. (In England they seem to split the difference by doubling every letter once - D, DD, E, EE and so on - but at least only once.) No one seems to want to hear these letters. Because so many women are wearing the wrong size, we have attached letters like "DD" to Dolly Parton and can't see ourselves realistically.
"But if I'm more than a DD then where do I find my bras?" See above re: small band sizes. They will be harder to find, and more expensive, and yet you will be glad. My recommended bra-shopping websites: Figleaves.com, Barenecessities.com, and Bravissimo.com (the last is UK-only store although they will ship to the US. I have never ordered from them, but I hear great reviews and they have a good explanation of how to visually assess whether your bra is the right fit.)
One more thing - bra fitters
With all this explanation about how to fit yourself, I can't emphasize enough how helpful a good, experienced fitter can be. And that's why you can't go to Victoria's Secret. A bra store can only put you in sizes they have. Vicky's doesn't have much. Nordstrom's has a much wider range, and in this country is a lot of people's only nearby bricks-and-mortar resource. Local specialty stores are also a good bet if you have one - but check to see if they have the size range you think you're looking in. Always bring your own judgment - it's normal for a smaller band to feel tight, but it shouldn't require a crowbar to fasten, and if something is just not working then say so.
Once you have bras that fit, spread the gospel! I've talked to a lot of women who feel so frustrated and demoralized by bra shopping. It makes them feel bad about their bodies and insecure about what they "should" look like or what size "normal" people wear. I wish more women understood sizing and accepted their bodies and breasts as they are - normal and fabulous - and useful for feeding babies if you get the chance :-)
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